Blair Cramer Manning smoothed the fur collar of her ankle-length sable coat as she stared down at the prone form of her husband. She reached up to make sure the handcuffs binding his wrists to the headboard were secure before leaning over to study Todd’s still-groggy features. “While I’m gone, I want you to come up with a very clever scheme to let all of Llanview know that Jack is our real son. Think you can do that without incriminating yourself, sweetie?”
“Yes ma’am.” Todd nodded, his hazel eyes still defiant even though he wasn’t in any position to be. “By the way, babe. What did you put in my drink last night?”
Blair ran her hand down his form and let it hover just above the huge erection jutting from between Todd’s thighs. Here she thought she was punishing and humiliating him and the evil bastard was actually turned on. “The same stuff you gave me in Mexico, you know, after you told me that my baby died? Only a little more potent.”
Todd held his breath as Blair carefully cinched the knot of the thin leather strap that was tied around his testicles and hooked to his big toe, making sure there was no slack. He couldn’t move to free himself if he wanted to and if he so much as sneezed, his nuts would be decimated. Once she was finished, he looked up at her, his expression almost as pitiful as the one he’d been wearing last night, when his conscience had finally gotten the best of him.
“Why are you doing this? I confessed, didn’t I? You said you forgave me, you know, after you punched me in the nose and put the machete down.”
“I forgive you, honey, but you can’t go unpunished. Todd has been a very, very bad boy.” Her eyes narrowed as his thing got even bigger. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? I’m untying you right now!”
“No!” Todd yelled. “I mean, you’re right! I’ve been a bad boy, I should be punished. Long and hard. Sooo…can you come back soon?”
“Why?”
“To…uh…finish my punishment?”
Blair rolled her eyes. “Did you make that call to the Sun?”
“Yes, Mrs. Co-Publisher.”
“Good husband.” Blair smiled as she sashayed towards the door.
“Babe?”
Blair growled impatiently as she picked up her briefcase and turned towards him again. She was anxious to get down to business. There was blood to be spilled and carnage wreak. “What?”
“I…uh…think my handcuffs are a little loose.” Todd wiggled his thick fingers, a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
“Todd, I am punishing you! I want you to feel humiliated, the way I did when I found out how stupid you’ve made me these last few months! This is not a sex thing!”
“If a chick handcuffs a guy naked to the bed and then stalks around in a mink and high heels…” He nodded towards his nether regions. “…this is what you get.”
She gave him her best Blairian eye roll.
“Besides, whenever we use the handcuffs and straps, it’s a sex thing. How am I supposed to know the difference?”
Blair swore violently as she slammed out of the room and bolted the door, angry with herself for underestimating how freaky her husband could be. She’d have to come up with a more humiliating, less titillating punishment for him.
She stopped at the nursery to check on Jack, smiling a greeting at the German nanny poured into the rocking chair next to the crib. On tiptoe, Blair crept up to her bed, her heart constricting with love as it always did when she looked at one of her babies in slumber. And he was really hers! How she had cried a river of sad and happy tears last night, before she’d begun chasing Todd around the mansion with her machete. As soon as she finished punishing him and that slut, all would be right with her world and she’d never allow herself to become that stupid and pathetic again.
Gently patting Jack’s tiny back, Blair leaned over and cooed softly to her son. “Don’t you worry, mama’s widdle man. We’re not gonna weave daddy, mama’s just gonna make him life a living hell.”
When she straightened, the nanny was staring at her strangely. Blair ignored her as she tersely issued orders. “I want you to take the children straight to Llanfair when you pick Starr up from school. Their aunt will be watching them the rest of the day and you can take off until I call you.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Blair sighed with satisfaction as she headed downstairs to the waiting limo. Yes ma’am. An acknowledgement every good bitch loved to hear.
************
When Blair walked through the doors of Todd’s office, as expected, Gabrielle was perched atop his desk, the skirt of her gaudy suit riding high up her stocky thighs. As soon as she saw Blair, the smug, over-confident smile she’d been wearing the past few weeks appeared and she struck a more seductive pose. “Good morning, Blair. I was just awaiting your husband. We have very important business to discuss, so you might want to make yourself scarce once you’re done dropping off his lunch.”
Adrenaline rushed through Blair’s veins as she moved forward, her expression cool. She slipped off her coat and carefully placed it out of harm’s way. She advanced towards Todd’s defiled desk to confront her stumpy nemesis. Discovering that Gabrielle had been blackmailing her husband to attain her ill-gotten gains gave Blair uneasy flashbacks of another troll who had dared to take what was hers. For a red-hot moment, while she’d been punching Todd’s lights out, all Blair could think about was this moment and the just destruction she’d prepared for Gabrielle.
Apparently put out that her little dig failed to get a rise out of Blair, Gabrielle continued to needle her in her shrill, annoying British accent. “I’m sorry to have kept him so late last night, but we were working on a very sensitive project. Todd is so very passionate about his work, but then you know that, don’t you?”
Blair placed her briefcase on the desk, balled her slim fingers into a fist, and slowly drew it back. Gabrielle’s puffy eyes widened when she realized what was about to occur, but with her frumpy form twisted into the seductive position, she was unable to move in time. She let out a frightened yelp as Blair’s fist connected soundly with the gaping mouth. Blood and teeth went flying into the air, along with Gabrielle’s legs as she toppled over the side of the desk and landed in a humping heap on the floor. As she sputtered and shrieked, Blair calmly took a seat behind the desk and opened her briefcase.
“You bitch!” Gabrielle screamed hysterically as she righted herself and grabbed at the three teeth still rolling around on the floor. “You bitch! I’ll kill you for this!”
“Effective immediately, your services as style editor are no longer required.” Blair informed her, closing her eyes to savor the heady feeling of power and superiority. “You are poorly under-qualified, have no competent management skills, public feedback for the style section is dismal, and you have made exorbitant, unauthorized purchases using the company’s expense account.”
“You can’t fire me!”
“You have a poor rapport with your staff, you spend more time at lunch than you do working, and you’ve been sexually harassing my husband. Besides that, I hate you.”
“You can’t fire me! Todd and I have a deal!”
“You and Todd had a deal.” Blair placed the contents of her briefcase on the desk before rising and walking towards Gabby. She slipped off the expensive cashmere blazer she wore and draped it across Todd’s chair. “Now you’re going to deal with me.”
Drool and blood oozing onto her quivering chin, Gabrielle stared up at Blair in horror as comprehension dawned. “You know, don’t you?”
“Oh yes, my lovely husband confessed. I think the horror of seeing your various body parts groping his desk every day finally took its toll.” Blair told her as she kicked off her heels and pulled off her earrings. “Didn’t I warn you that you would regret the day you came after my family?”
“You should be attacking Todd, not me!”
“Todd is being properly punished…I think…but our marriage will remain intact. And I think you should be worried about that wide ass of yours instead. Your company car, your company credit cards, and all those embarrassingly gaudy outfits you illegally purchased with the Sun’s accounts have been repossessed. You’re going to leave this building the same way you came when you made the asinine decision to blackmail my husband. With nothing.”
“You can’t do this to me! I’ll tell the police what Todd did and then he’ll be arrested!”
“And they’ll arrest you right along with him, for extortion and embezzlement.” Blair picked up a videotape and tossed it at her. “I have another surprise for you.”
Gabrielle eyed the tape as it came to a skidding halt next to her crouching form. Her mutinous expression turned horrified as she spied the picture gracing the cover, a still of she and Max fornicating for all they were worth. “ Raunchy Old Broads?”
Blair laughed. “That man of mine. He never misses the opportunity to make a buck. It’s doing great on the web and it’ll be debuting at the Nasty Theater down on Fifth Street.”
“No!”
“I also hear it’ll be playing during Al’s two o’clock film class today.”’
“No!” Gabrielle’s bravado disappeared as she crawled to Blair and draped herself around a long leg. “Please, Blair! Don’t take everything away from me, I beg of you! If it weren’t for me, you’d never have found out what Todd did to you! Help a fellow, put upon woman out, please?”
Blair shuddered with disgust as she stared down at Gabrielle’s pitiful countenance. It was a damn shame she couldn’t play with her new toy longer before she personally tossed her from the Manning Building. But she had to hurry home before her monster and his mini-monster made a mess of the bedroom. With a disappointed sigh, Blair pushed up her blouse sleeves and reached down to yank Gabrielle up by her bouffant hair.
“ Please!” Gabrielle’s eyes widened at Blair’s fierce expression. “Let’s talk this out like rational women! We might even become friends! One bitch to another, eh?”
Blair felt a rush of wicked delight as she steadied Gabrielle and readied her aim. “Alright, Gabrielle. One bitch to another…”
************
Somewhere in Morocco.
David Vickers huffed with righteous indignation as the policeman shoved him into the hotel room and shut the door with an ominous bang. Bewildered and somewhat lethargic, he glanced around the spacious, elegant suite and wondered what in the hell he was doing there. Roused at nearly four in the morning, he had been hustled from his cell and out of the prison warden’s private entrance into a waiting car. No explanation was given as to why he was suddenly set free to be deposited in the middle of all this luxury, still handcuffed and wearing his horrendous prison rags.
He didn’t have long to wonder, however, as the door on the far side of the room opened and a woman emerged in a flurry of black silk. If his stunned body could function, he’d be wetting himself right about now. Were his bleary eyes playing tricks on him, or was that the Queen of She-Devils herself fluttering towards him?
“David, darling!” Dorian purred as she floated up to him, looking well-rested and radiant despite the wee hour. “How lovely to see you again!”
“D-Dorian…” David swallowed, his brain on overload. What was she doing in Morocco? Why had she brought him here? And more importantly, what was she going to do to him? “W-why…”
“Why am I here?” Dorian’s eyes wandered up and down David’s buff form as she circled him. “Fulfilling a promise I made to you a long time ago.”
“But…how did you get me out of prison?”
“I have friends in high places all over the world, darling.” Dorian glided past him and draped herself over a plush settee. “Oh, let’s not talk about boring details. What matters is that we’re together again.”
Now he didn’t like the sound of that. Nor the utterly evil look gracing her pampered features. That look that all Cramer women got when they were preparing to hand you your nuts on a silver platter. “You had someone pull some strings to get me -- a man you loathe with every fiber of your twisted being -- out of prison? Why?”
“Well, my love, I promised you that if you ever caused any harm to my family again, I would make you pay. And now that time has come.” Dorian announced, dark eyes gleaming, perfect white teeth bared in a vicious smile.
David shook his head. “But I haven’t gone anywhere near your family!”
“Then why are you in prison?”
Shit.
“Uh, w-well, I was sort of blackmailing Todd and he didn’t take kindly to it. Wait a minute. How did you know he sent me to prison? He wouldn’t tell you that…unless…”
Dorian’s vicious smile stretched even wider. “You know, I got an interesting phone call from my niece the other day. She told me the most fascinating tale about a dead baby, a no-good husband, and a sleazy, cerebrally-challenged con-man.”
Yes. There it was. A trickle. His body was functioning again.
“David, David…” Dorian tsked softly as she slipped her arm behind a cushion and pulled out a long object. “You’ll never learn, will you, darling?”
Poop. He was pooping his drawers. “Is t-that…is t-that…”
Dorian rose slowly from the sofa as she leisurely swung the object to and fro, advancing upon David as he stumbled backward towards the door. “It pains me to think that my precious great nephew was torn away from his mother and passed from stranger to stranger like an unwanted stray.”
“Is t-that…a c-c-cattle prod?” David tried desperately to reach the door knob, but his bound hands wouldn’t let him.
“Why yes it is, David.” Dorian grinned, her heart racing in anticipation of what was to come. “Don’t worry, darling. I have many more wonderful tools just waiting to be used on that hot bod of yours.”
“ Noooooooo!”
With a song in her heart, Dorian descended upon her flailing victim, a long red nail flicking a switch and bringing the cattle prod to life. Tears welled in her eyes as a chord of sentimentality struck deep within her bosom. So beautiful was this family tradition, of being a bitch.
The End