As Max’s hand slid up her thigh, his lips pressing soft kisses against her neck, Blair tried hard to tamp down the sudden feeling of loathing that welled within her. She discreetly exhaled in an effort to relax as her husband pressed her into the satin-covered mattress. She rubbed her nude body seductively against his, a grimace contorting her beautiful features. Thank God she was an excellent actress.
When Max had begged her for a reconciliation, Blair had agreed, thrilled at the prospect of being back in the Buchanan mansion where she could easily access Max’s files to further her revenge against him. It had seemed like an easy ruse at first, but now she wasn’t so sure. Convincing Max that she was madly in love with him was becoming increasingly difficult.
The longer Blair was in his presence, the more she began to despise him. Every time she looked at Max, images of he and Skye making love would enter her mind. Every time he touched her, Blair would think of all the times he had defended Skye to her. It took considerable effort on her part to lovingly respond to his touches and caresses.
Oh God, let it be over, Blair thought as Max lowered his mouth to hers. She kissed him back with as much enthusiasm as possible, but inwardly she cringed. She hated his hands on her, hated the fact that she would have to continue sleeping with him for an indefinite period of time. But then she suddenly remembered her encounter with Todd in Cincinnati. If he and Tea returned to Llanview to steal Starr away from her again, Blair had to be ready. And that meant making sure that when she did divorce Max, she was a very wealthy woman. She would take them both to hell before she ever let Tea Delgado near her daughter again.
That in mind, Blair prepared to give the performance of her life as she wrapped her legs around her husband’s waist and welcomed him with her body.
************
Todd glanced over at Viki as he guided the limousine back towards Llanview. She didn’t seem as annoyed with him as before after her surprise visit with Jessica and for that he was grateful. The last thing he wanted to deal with was his sister’s prissy ideals. He had enough on his mind already. Getting back his life in Llanview was one of them. Paying back his enemies was another.
Still, he was worried about Viki’s condition, and if he was honest with himself, a bit frightened. He would never let her know how unnerved he really was about the unseen cancer inside of her. Showing weakness was not an option. Peter Manning had drilled that into him, but Todd had mistakenly forgotten that lesson over the past couple of years. As usual, his adoptive father had been right. Had he not let Sam, Viki, and Tea see several of his weaknesses, Todd wouldn’t be at this miserable point in his life now.
“I’m glad you brought me to see Jessica, although you went about it in an unnecessary, unorthodox way.” Viki’s refined voice intruded on his thoughts. “Why didn’t you go with them?”
Todd tried to conjure up the sarcastic, playful personality that he had worn like a protective shield for the last few weeks, but he was too weary to continue the pretense at the moment. “Because Sam told me to stay away from them.”
“That didn’t stop you before.”
“Jessica promised to call me as soon as they settled down and Cristian and Will didn’t want me along anyway.” Todd rubbed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the road. “Besides, I got tired of watching them fight over her. It was like being trapped in a really bad episode of Dawson’s Creek.”
Viki sighed. “Both of them love Jessica very much. Neither would dream of doing anything to hurt her.”
Todd grunted with annoyance. “Whatever.”
They were silent for a moment, the only sounds the steady hum of the limo’s engine and the air whipping around the car as it sped down the highway. Todd could feel Viki studying him and he steeled himself in preparation for whatever remark would fly out of her smart mouth. She was always trying to psychoanalyze him and it got on his nerves. The best way to handle her self-righteous mumbling was to issue a terse, spiteful reply.
“So what’s the plan now, Todd?” Viki broke the thick silence.
Here it comes. “What plan?”
“Are you going to stay in Llanview or will you try to find Tea?”
“Why should I try to find Tea?”
“Because you love her.”
Todd opened his mouth to deny her statement, but he quickly clamped it shut and remained quiet. Letting Viki and Sam think he was in love with Tea served two purposes. It would keep their hopes for his redemption alive and it would keep them in his corner. They thought the sun rose and set around Tea Delgado.
Truth be told, Todd wasn’t sure if what he felt for Tea could be called love. Obsession maybe, but not love. Their relationship had almost been as sick as the one he had shared with Marty Saybrooke. It seemed as if tormenting each other had been the highlight of his and Tea’s whatever-it-was. Each of them had gotten a strange rush from it, although she would never admit it.
A man usually loved a woman for a lot of little reasons. The way she wore her hair, the way she danced, the way she shaved her legs. Todd tried hard to think of a characteristic of Tea’s that he found loveable and was surprised to find that he could think of none. Well, he liked that she was so easy to torture. Was he weird or simply unable to feel? He’d only had two other relationships to compare with his last one, both a lot more normal than the one he’d had with Tea.
“Todd?”
Startled, Todd glared at his sister, not liking the look of censure in her eyes.
“If you sincerely want a chance with Tea, you’re going to have to want to change and really do it this time.” Viki counseled. “If not, you might as well go back to where you came from. Sam and I have grown rather sick of saving you from yourself.”
Todd bit back a sarcastic retort. More tough love. Everyone was always demanding him to change for them, but they’d never bothered to ask him what he wanted. He was hurt over Tea leaving him and by her not being able to accept him as he was. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable to others. It made him weak and sniveling. Peter Manning had hated weak, sniveling men and so did Todd. And right now, he hated himself.
He was tired of talking about Tea and damn tired of everyone asking him about her. Todd had already chalked up their doomed relationship as another painful lesson learned and relegated it to the back of his mind. The only female he was interested in now was a beautiful six-year old that loved him unconditionally. In his twisted need for a woman who hadn’t really loved him at all, Todd had thrown away the one good thing he’d done in his life. And he was desperate to get back to her.
“Do me a favor, Viki.” Todd requested with conviction as he glanced at his sister. “Don’t ask me about Tea again. That part of my life is over.”
Viki stared at him briefly as she tried to read him again. “You sound serious about that.”
“I am.” Todd turned his attention back to the road. “Tea moved on and so have I.”
************
Kyle Wharton wasn’t your typical computer hacker. No grunge rock exterior and devil-may-care attitude. No shy, stuttering nerd with Coke bottle glasses and bad hair. He had just introduced himself to her minutes before, and Blair had already formed a not too flattering opinion of him.
Looking to be in his late thirties, Wharton was dressed impeccably in Armani, a rather loud Rolex encircling his wrist. His sandy blonde hair was neatly trimmed and fashionably coifed and his features were haughty and aquiline. There had to be a stick at least a mile long buried deeply in his snobbish ass, but Blair overlooked that for now. What she needed was an expert hacker and underground rumor had it that Wharton was the best.
“So, Mrs. Buchanan. Just what is it that you’re looking for?” Wharton sipped his cappuccino, pinky finger properly extended. They were in a fancy restaurant on the outskirts of Llanview, a spot Blair had picked because no one she knew ever frequented it.
Blair leaned forward and cautiously lowered her voice. “I need a virus planted.”
“Target?”
“Buchanan Enterprises.”
“Hmm…the big dogs.” Wharton made a show of stroking his chin thoughtfully. “It’ll be hard to penetrate those firewalls, but it’s doable. Are you prepared to meet my price?”
Mentally calculating B&B’s checking account balance, adding the fat wad of cash Viki had given her the day before, Blair nodded. “I can cover it. But you don’t get a cent until I get what I need.”
“Of course.” Wharton replaced his coffee cup and propped his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers together. “Ten.”
Blair tried and failed to maintain her cool expression. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. The price is fair given the risks.”
There goes the royalty check she just received. The figure was going to put a big dent in B&B’s coffers, but Blair wasn’t deterred. Her revenge and Asa’s money were too important. “ When can you start?”
“I have a couple of jobs to finish, but I think I can start Thursday.”
That was two days from now. The thought of sleeping with Max another day made Blair ill. But it would be worth it in the end, when she was rich enough to buy that armed fortress for herself and Starr. “Deal.”
Blair extended her hand and Wharton gripped it firmly, running his thumb slowly over her knuckles. His pale blue gaze latched onto her breasts before returning to her face and giving her a seductive smile. Blair returned it with a brilliant one of her own, recognizing that gleam in his eyes all too well. If she played her ample cards right, she just might get a little discount from Kyle Wharton.
************
Todd waited in a rental car in the employee parking lot of The Banner, scanning the arriving employees for Blair. He wanted to talk to her about Starr and although he had badly wanted to go to the Buchanan mansion, he had wisely chosen instead to approach his ex-wife at work. Max and Asa would go ballistic if he showed up on their doorstep, and given the trouble Todd was in, would probably run and tattle to Bo.
He had parked as far back as possible and was slumped low behind the steering wheel. A copy of The Sun lay in the seat next to him. It was ruined. Insipid, feel good stories and news nobody cared about. Besides the logo, The Sun had changed considerably from the hard-hitting, no-holds-barred publication it had once been. It was now a perfect companion paper to The Banner.
Todd stroked the bold red logo as he watched for Blair. If all went as planned, The Sun would soon be returned to its former glory, with him at the helm again.
A silver Porsche careened around the corner and glided perfectly into an empty parking space. Todd recognized the expensive present he’d given Blair when they had first gotten married. He was surprised she still had it, but she had really loved that car. And she’d always looked great getting out of it. One long leg emerged, followed by the other. She wore a pair of beige cigarette pants and a clinging white blouse. He’d never seen her looking bad, except the night they had lost their first baby, and after the accident that had killed Brendan. He didn’t like the short hair, but his opinion didn’t matter because she wasn’t his anymore. It wasn’t that long ago when he had been crazy in love with her.
Pushing aside his musings, Todd emerged from his car and quickly skulked towards Blair. She was lifting a small cardboard box from the car and he turned when she heard his footsteps and her green eyes widened in alarm and surprise. Todd inwardly grimaced at her expression. He hated that he had that affect on her. There was a time when she had looked at him with so much love and devotion. But he had screwed that up royally and after all the terrible things he had done to her, he didn’t blame her for feeling suspicious towards him.
“What are you doing here?” Blair hissed as she looked around, protectively holding the box in front of her.
Todd stopped in front of her and shoved his hands in his pants pockets. “Now what kind of greeting is that for the father of your child?”
Blair’s green eyes were arctic cold as she gave him a scathing look. “Father? You’ve been nothing more than her sperm donor for the last couple of years.”
The dig was painful, but Todd checked his anger and his pride. When it came to Starr, he had to be straight with her mother. “I haven’t been there for her like I should. I want to make it up to her.”
Blair’s eyes narrowed as she looked him up and down, biting her bottom lip in concentration as she silently weighed her options. “Where’s Tea?”
Todd balled his fists at the monotonous question. “That didn’t work out.”
“The bitch dumped you.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Of course it was.” Blair slammed the car door and hefted the box under one arm. “It’s too damn late for you to start showing concern for your daughter. You should have been putting her needs before that overpaid slut who took you away from her.”
“Blair.” Todd whispered between clenched teeth as he grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving. He glanced around at the few people arriving at The Banner, making sure no one was watching them. “I don’t want to fight with you. I just wanna to see my kid.”
She remained silent as she pointedly glanced down at his detaining hand on her upper arm. Todd released her and struggled to remain calm. He didn’t like appearing weak before her, but Blair had him by the balls and she knew it. “You have every reason in the world to hate me, but I need to see my daughter. You want me to beg?”
Blair rolled her eyes. “I am not Tea. She’s neutered you pretty good already so I won’t add to the torture. But I’m not buying the sincere act. How do I know that bitch isn’t hiding out somewhere, waiting for you to come back to her with Starr so the three of you can leave the country together?”
“There is no Tea.” Todd stated forcefully, his voice low and trembling with rising anger. “I’m telling you for the last time, she and I are over. Don’t ever want you to mention her to me again.” He took a deep, calming breath as he realized with chagrin that he would have to be totally honest with her now. “I want to come home, Blair. I hate Llanview. It’s slow, it’s full of sanctimonious pricks, it doesn’t even have a decent strip club, but its home. Starr is here. Can you just look past you and me for a moment and concentrate on her?”
Blair’s doubtful gaze locked with Todd’s for a moment while she processed his words. Finally, she threw up a hand in defeat, looked skyward, and mumbled a few incoherent words. Then she glanced back at Todd, exasperation in her expression. “Alright…shit. You can see Starr.”
As relief washed over him, Todd suppressed the urge to fall at her feet and kiss Blair’s pink-tipped toes. “Today?”
“Fine. I won’t be doing much work anyway.” Blair mumbled. “But I don’t want anyone to see us together, so you meet us at Dorian’s at noon.”
Todd simply nodded as he noticed for the first time how tired his former wife looked. There were dark circles under her puffy eyes and tiny frown lines marred her smooth skin. As she stood there jiggling her leg with impatience and irritation, Todd guessed that something was bothering her, and it wasn’t totally geared towards his presence. He started to ask her what it was, but thought better of it. He had already pushed his luck by asking for a visit with Starr.
Blair noticed Todd’s examination of her and she immediately stopped fidgeting. She raised her chin defiantly and her expression went blank and cold again. “I’ve got things to do.” She didn’t even bother with a goodbye as she turned and walked away.
He stood there for a moment and watched her retreat, her shapely bottom swaying seductively in those snug-fitting pants. It was a shame he was done with women or he might be tempted to seduce his ex-wife away from her current husband. A second later, Todd berated himself for even thinking along those lines. Irritated that he’d momentarily lost focus, he turned and made his way back to his car, remembering that he had someone else to see.
************
Blair returned the greetings of the numerous employees of The Banner as she entered the lobby of the building, took the elevator, and walked down the narrow hallway towards her desk. She propped the box onto the marred wood surface and gratefully collapsed into her chair, expelling the breath she’d been holding since she’d left her ex-husband in the parking lot.
Seeing Todd for the second time in as many weeks had knocked the wind out of her, though she had put on a grand performance to conceal it from him. She hated to admit it, but her encounters with him, however fleeting they were, made her feel as if she had been on a wild roller coaster ride. She’d been both apprehensive and exhilarated by his appearance. It frustrated her that Todd could still elicit such feelings from her even after all the rotten things he’d done to her. She would much rather be numb to his presence than feel anything, even loathing. Maybe her problems with Max had something to do with that. Or maybe it was something else.
What irked her even more was the rush of elation she’d felt when Todd had told her that he and Tea had broken up. Blair was happy that the whining little shrew would not be a part of Starr’s life, but she was angry that Todd’s newly single status mattered to her. She hated giving in on allowing him to visit Starr as well, but it was hard to refuse Todd where their daughter was concerned. He was an asshole, but there was no doubt in her mind that he loved Starr as much as she did.
Disgusted that she had allowed herself to dwell on thoughts of Todd Manning, Blair jerked open a drawer and began pulling out her personal belongings. Last night she had come to the conclusion that she no longer wanted to work at The Banner. The paper was owned and run by Buchanans and she wanted to rid herself of any traces of that family in her and Starr’s lives.
She wouldn’t be fully rid of them until she divorced Max however. He wasn’t really a Buchanan, but he wanted to be and that was enough to condemn him to her. The sooner she got rid of him, the better. His presence in her life was having an adverse reaction on her mental and physical health. She felt incredibly fatigued and irritable from a lack of sleep because she’d lain awake half the night, recoiling from Max every time he shifted in his sleep and inadvertently touched her.
Blair tossed a tube of lipstick, a hairbrush, and a hair clip into the box, ignoring the curious looks of her soon-to-be former co-workers. She picked up three framed pictures -- a baby photo of Starr, a recent one of herself and Starr, and one of herself, her mother, Dorian, Cassie, and Kelly at her second wedding to Todd -- and placed them carefully in the box. The last picture was one of Max. She stared at it bitterly for a moment before dumping it in the trashcan beneath her desk.
“Blair?”
She swiveled in her chair and stared up at Kevin. With a slight frown, he glanced at the box on the desk and then back at her. “What’s going on?”
Maybe she should have given Kevin her resignation before she had started cleaning out her desk, but Todd’s appearance had flustered her so, Blair hadn’t been thinking clearly. “I meant to give you my resignation in private.”
“You’re quitting?”
Blair tossed a half-eaten candy bar in the trash. “That’s what ‘resignation’ means.”
“What’s the problem?” Kevin folded his arms across his chest and struck his best intimidating pose.
She had always tried to be civil to him, but Blair could barely stand Kevin. She didn’t give a damn that Kelly was now in love with him or that he was Starr’s cousin. He had turned Cassie into a basket case and Blair would never forget that. She missed her beloved cousin deeply, especially now that her life was in such turmoil. Thanks to Kevin’s tainted brand of love, Cassie would probably never be the same. As soon as she got rid of Max and got herself and Starr settled, Blair would began her special plan of revenge against Kevin Buchanan. She only hoped that Kelly wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire.
“There’s no problem.” Blair continued her task. “I just don’t want to work here anymore.”
“You going back to The Sun?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no.” Blair closed the box and rose from the desk as she gave it a final look. “All my current work is on the computer’s hard drive. My password is keywest95.”
“You’re leaving us in a lurch here, Blair.”
Blair shrugged as she slung her purse over her shoulder. “Can’t be helped.”
“Does this have anything to do with Asa and Max?” Kevin prodded further, his eyes fixed on the trashcan.
Blair shook her head and let loose a small, scornful laugh. “You’re such a Buchanan. Always thinking the world revolves around you and your kind.”
Kevin bent over and reached into the trashcan, pulling out the discarded picture of Max. He eyed Blair curiously, one brow arched in a mocking question as he held the picture out to her. “Isn’t Key West where you and Todd first got married?”
Blair glared at Kevin as she picked up her box, ignoring the picture he held as she moved around him. “Don’t you have a wife to go steal or something?” With a toss of her head, she left The Banner offices for the last time.
************
Todd listened half-heartedly as Sam spewed his usual diatribe about responsibility, trustworthiness and love. His former mentor had lit into him as soon as Todd had arrived at his office and being that he needed Sam on his side, Todd could do nothing but pretend to be contrite and listen. There were a shitload of other lawyers he could hire who would be more than happy to defend a man with a bank account as fat as Todd’s. But he wanted someone who at least cared about him and would put his all into Todd’s case rather than someone who would just go through the motions to snag an enormous fee.
“Didn’t I ask you to stay away from my son?” Sam sputtered, eyes popping, face reddening, and neck veins bulging.
Todd nodded and remained silent as Sam continued to rant. His fingers itched to close around the older man’s throat and end his incessant prattling. Todd had heard it all before and he didn’t need a refresher course in Morality 101. Who was Sam to speak on morals anyway? There was a lot Sam had to answer for. Fucking Blair to get over Nora. Knocking up Nora and ending her marriage to Bo. If he didn’t need Sam so badly, Todd would end his pompous tirade with a well-aimed bullet to the…
“Are you listening to me?” Sam yelled, eyes blazing down at Todd, who was slouched comfortably in a seat across from Sam’s desk.
“Yeah, I hear you.” Todd straightened and tried to appear properly repentant. “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry? I made mistakes…I came back to make up for them.”
“You came back here because Tea left you and as usual you want me and Viki to pick up the pieces!”
“This has nothing to do with Tea and stop mentioning her name. That’s over.” Todd felt like punching a wall, but he forced himself to keep up his meek facade. Boomer Todd was the only Todd Sam really knew how to deal with. “The thing with Tea made me realize that I’ve spent too much time chasing women and not enough time being a father to my daughter. I’m back to set things straight so that I can be with Starr. You don’t want to help me? I get that. But stop lecturing me about things that I can’t change. I need a straight up yes or no.”
Sam shook his head and walked up to Todd so that he was inches from the younger man’s face. He always used the move to try to intimidate him and Todd always let Sam think that it did. “Man, you gotta stop this. You not a kid anymore, Boomer, you’re a grown man with responsibilities.”
“Yes or no, Sam?”
With a groan, Sam tunneled both hands through his white hair. “Alright, Todd. I’ll defend you, but there are conditions that come with my help.”
“Aren’t there always?” Todd smirked. Sam was such a chump.
“One, you stay away from my kid.” Sam jabbed a finger into Todd’s chest. “And two, you get some counseling. You need to resolve some of these issues that make you so screwed up inside.”
Fuck counseling, Todd thought while smiling and nodding at his former coach. He would agree to appease Sam, but Todd knew he didn’t need a shrink telling him what he already knew. That he was certifiable. Sometimes. “Yeah, I was actually thinking of seeing someone. I want to be the best father I can be for Starr.”
Sam seemed to relax at Todd’s words. “Well at least that’s a start. I have to do a little research first, check into the charges that have been filed against you, see how your former record will play out in court. In the meantime, you lay low.”
“That’s what I do best.” Todd held out his hand and Sam clasped it warily. “Thanks, Sam. This means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.” Todd was thankful he hadn’t choked on the words.
“Yeah, yeah.” Sam waved him off and walked around his desk to take a seat. “Now about that counseling…”
A light knock saved Todd from more lecturing. Both men turned towards the door just as it was cracked a few inches and Roseanne Delgado’s head poked through the opening. “Excuse me, Sam, but your secretary’s not at her desk --“
Roseanne’s eyes fell on Todd and they widened in surprise. She stepped through the doorway and walked slowly towards him. “Todd. What are you doing here?”
Todd shrugged. “Just hanging.”
“Is Tea here too?”
Wordlessly, Todd walked past her towards the door. “Sam, I’ll talk to you later.” He heard Sam sputtering in protest but Todd escaped by slamming the door firmly behind him and escaping into a waiting elevator.
*************
Blair dumped a small amount of sesame chicken onto a plate and placed it on the wrought iron table in front of Starr. The little girl promptly scooped some between her tiny fingers and shoved it into her mouth. Shaking her head, an amused smile on her face, Blair concluded that her daughter had picked up her atrocious table manners from her father.
“Use a fork, Starr.” Blair gently reminded.
“I want an eggroll.” Starr demanded as she palmed the fork.
“May I please have an eggroll.” Blair corrected.
Starr mumbled the words back and Blair rewarded her by placing the requested eggroll on her plate. “Good girl.”
They were on the patio at the Cramer mansion, Blair having stopped for takeout on the way there. Starr had insisted that they eat outside and Blair had thought it would be a good idea while they waited for Todd. Starr had lit up when her mother had told her they were going to see Daddy and she’d been worrying Blair with questions about him ever since. At least the food was a momentary distraction.
Blair was only able to take one bite of her lunch when she heard the muted sound of the doorbell from inside the house. She glanced at Starr, whose jaws were full to bursting as she chewed voraciously. Blair caught her hand as Starr attempted to shovel in more food. “Swallow, Starr. I think your daddy is here.”
A big grin split Starr’s face and her hazel eyes widened with excitement. She didn’t have time to chew and swallow, not with her daddy at the door, so she spit the food into a napkin, tossed it onto her plate, and jumped down from the table. Blair groaned in exasperation as she gathered the slimy wad and disposed of it. Vowing to work harder on her daughter’s table etiquette, she hurried to catch up to Starr as she raced to the foyer.
Starr slid to a halt at the front door and flung it open before Blair could stop her. She let out an excited squeal upon seeing her daddy standing on the doorstep. Todd returned the greeting with a teasing, mimicking squeal of his own as he swept his daughter up into his arms and gave her a bear hug.
Blair couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips as Todd and Starr tried exchanged secret handshakes and rapid snatches of conversation. She couldn’t stand Todd most of the time, but she loved seeing her daughter happy and Todd was a master at doing that.
Todd finally spared Blair a glance as he kicked the front door shut and lowered Starr to her feet. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Blair replied coolly as she rubbed a hand over her rapidly beating heart. “We were having lunch on the patio.”
“We got your favorite Chinese food.” Starr announced as she grabbed Todd’s hand and began tugging him towards the living room.
“Really.” Todd smirked as he gave Blair a knowing look. “Was that Mommy’s idea?”
“It was mine.”
“Oh.” Todd had the grace to look sheepish and it was Blair’s turn to smirk. “Lead on, Shorty.”
For the next half-hour, father and daughter voraciously scarfed down lunch while Blair played with hers and looked on. Todd and Starr talked with gleeful animation about a possible trip to Reptile World and all the places Todd had been since he’d been gone. A potentially awkward moment arose when Starr asked about Tea, but Todd handled it smoothly by explaining that he and Tea were no longer friends. Starr seemed to accept this without question as she went on to tell her father about her latest pet lizard.
While Todd and Starr were hanging outside, Blair cleaned up the mess they’d left behind and went into the house to fix herself a drink. Though Dorian no longer lived here, Blair made sure that a maid came by once a week to clean the mansion thoroughly and keep the kitchen stocked. She and Kelly both used the place on occasion, Blair to get away from the Buchanans, and Kelly, Blair assumed, to get away from the lie she was living with Joey.
She was turning up a screwdriver when Todd came in with Starr riding on his shoulders. His eyebrow shot upward in question as he eyed the drink in Blair’s hand. He made a big show of propelling a happily shrieking Starr into the air and then tumbling her onto the sofa.
“Mommy!” Starr scrambled to her feet and ran over to Blair, grabbing her around her waist and craning her neck to look up at her. “I asked Daddy if we could have a sleepover and he said yes.”
Blair’s head shot up. “What?”
“She wants to stay with me and I thought it was a good idea.” Todd shrugged. “Come on, Blair, I haven’t seen her in months.”
Blair pasted on a smile for Starr’s benefit and replied in a singsong voice. “You know I can’t leave you alone with her.”
Todd was irritated at her obvious mistrust of him. “You’re invited too.”
“This is gonna be fun.” Starr drawled, the scheming expression on her face a bit alarming.
“Starr, honey.” Blair’s eyes stared daggers at Todd as she set down her drink and pulled Starr to her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Uncle Max will be lonely.”
Todd grunted at that remark. “It’s just one night.”
“And what am I supposed to tell him?”
“I don’t know, you’re good at…you know…you’ll think of something.”
Blair looked down at Starr’s hopeful face. She would like nothing better than to avoid sleeping with Max tonight, even if it meant having to be around Todd. But if Max ever discovered who she and Starr were spending time with, it would set him off, to the detriment of her plan. No, there was too much at stake. She would just have to suffer.
“Maybe another time.” Blair told him firmly.
Starr crossed her arms and fumed. “This blows!”
“Excuse me?” Blair wondered where this little hellion had come from.
“How about this weekend?” Todd pushed, enabling their daughter’s bad behavior. “We could hang out at Viki’s cabin.”
“Please, Mommy?” Starr begged. “I’ll be nice to Uncle Max.”
“I’ll think about it.” Blair conceded, annoyed at being pressured. It was just like Todd to put her on the spot and make her look like the bad guy to their daughter.
“That’s the best we’re gonna get, Shorty.” Todd told her, his hand palming the top of Starr’s head to guide her towards the kitchen. “Want something to drink?”
Starr performed an exaggerated walk of sadness as she left the room ahead of him. Todd lingered, aiming an accusing look at Blair. “You don’t trust me with her.”
“Damn right I don’t.”
“I wouldn’t take her away from her mother.”
“You did before.”
Todd scowled at her a moment before turning to go to the kitchen. “You and I need to have a conversation.”
“Whatever, Todd.” Blair picked up the phone as she glared after him.
Damn stupid man. There was nothing Todd could say to her that would make her trust him where Starr was concerned. She should have never agreed to meet him here. He hadn’t even been back a day and he was already screwing up her life. Forcing herself to forget about Todd for now, Blair decided to concentrate on more pressing business as she dialed Ben’s number.
************
Blair watched as Todd gently lay Starr down on the narrow daybed. She’d worn herself out playing video games with her father. Blair was relieved, sure that Todd would leave once Starr was asleep, but he’d surprised her by insisting that they needed to talk. Not really in the mood to spar with him, but curious as to what it was he wanted to say, she had agreed.
Todd folded a corner of the comforter over Starr’s small body and softly ran a hand over the top of her head. “She’s gotten bigger since I saw her last.”
“Did you think she’d stop growing because you decided to walk out of her life?” Blair asked bitterly, careful to keep her voice low.
Turning, Todd gave her a blank look, his voice low as well. “Let’s not do this here.”
Blair left the room without another word and went back downstairs. In the living room, she sank down among the plush sofa cushions, watching warily as Todd stalked into the room behind her and sat down on the sofa across from her.
For a moment, they just stared at each other, Blair’s expression irritable, Todd’s revealing no emotion at all. He looked good, she grudgingly admitted to herself, even though she hated the shorter hair and his nearly hairless face. He looked much more handsome with long hair and a goatee. His black suit was casual and complimented his slim form and he wore a collarless blue shirt that set off his skin’s light tan. This Todd looked calm and assured, a far cry from the wreck he’d been when he’d slunk out of Llanview nearly two years ago.
“What’s up?” Blair prompted, pissed that she’d been admiring him and anxious to get rid of him.
Todd tilted his head to one side as he looked at her. “You hate me, don’t you?”
One of Blair’s dark eyebrows rose sardonically. “What ever gave you that idea?”
Todd scowled and looked away. Blair could see his tongue running along the inside of his bottom lip. Whatever he was about to say would be hard for him and quite possibly the truth. He could never look her straight in the eye when it came to the dreaded ‘talking about things’ stuff.
“Spit it out.” Blair prodded again. “I’ve got things to do.”
He kept his gaze averted. “I’m…sorry. For everything I put you through.”
He was sorry? He’d waited nearly six years to apologize and that was the best he could do? “That’s all I get? ‘I’m sorry’?”
Todd eyed her warily. “It’s all I have to offer. What else you want me to say?”
“You say ‘I’m sorry’ when you bump into someone or when you’re late for an appointment.” Blair remained reclining on the sofa, her voice dripping with venom and her green eyes flashing with suppressed fury. “Not after you go out of your way to make their life a living hell.”
“Blair --“
“You don’t say ‘I’m sorry’ when you leave the mother of your child alone to raise you daughter while you go chasing after the bitch that tried to send both of you to prison!”
“What do you want me to say?” Todd growled back, her anger fueling his.
“Not a damn thing. I want you to grovel at my feet and kiss my ass.”
“I’m not kissing another woman’s ass as long as I live!” Todd shot to his feet. “I’m being straight with you, trying to make things right, and you give me attitude!”
“What the hell did you expect?” Blair stood up, her body trembling with rage and her fists clinched at her sides. “I am not Tea! You can’t come here with a lame apology after everything you did to me and expect instant forgiveness. I hate you. I can’t stand to look at you. The only reason I’m tolerating your sorry ass is because of Starr.”
“Extend that tolerance a little longer.” Todd pointed a finger at her as he stepped around the coffee table. “I’m here to stay.”
“Fuck you!” Blair hissed. “And get out! You make me sick!”
“I’m not finished.” Todd took a step towards her.
“Oh yes you are!” Blair looked for something to defend herself with as she scooted towards the end table. She picked up a small vase and held it up defensively. “You’re nothing like the man you were when I was married to you! Tea’s turned you into weak, sniveling piece of shit!”
Todd visibly flinched at that remark. He stood perfectly still as he stared back at her, his expression wounded and full of pain. Well, Blair didn’t care about his feelings. She was never going to allow him to hurt her again, physically or emotionally. And she refused to apologize for her harsh words.
Seconds ticked by. Todd remained quiet, his face once again devoid of any emotion. The only thing betraying his inner turmoil was the slight tick of the tiny muscle in his jaw. He opened his mouth to say something and closed it again. Then he swung around and left, walking out of the front door and slamming it forcefully behind him.
Blair collapsed on the sofa then, the tears she’d been holding in finally spilling. She lowered her head onto her knees and took in large gulps of air as she wept, her body shuddering violently as the buildup of anger slowly dissipated. She felt slightly dizzy, off kilter, and drained. Arguing with Todd always did that to her. Her blood pressure was probably through the roof.
She lay down on the sofa and between sobs she cursed Todd for his ability to provoke her. She wanted to believe that it had nothing to do with any lingering feelings for him, but she couldn’t deny the truth. And that’s why she had really become angry. Whether she loved or hated him, Blair was still irrevocably under Todd Manning’s spell. But it would be a cold day in hell before she became his whipping post again.
************
Todd deftly tossed an empty beer can back and forth between his hands, raised it, aimed, and sent it sailing into the wastebasket across the room. He shoved another potato chip into his mouth and munched as he listened to the music blasting from the radio perched on top of a counter. He was in the kitchen of the condo he had leased from an elderly retired couple, sprawled in a corner on the floor because there was no furniture.
It was nearly midnight and was waging his nightly war with insomnia. His mood changed from minute to minute, running the gamut from apathy to loneliness, from anger to sadness. Two days had passed since his blowup with Blair and he was too proud to call her and beg to see Starr again. His dismal attempt to apologize for his past mistreatment of her had blown up in his face. He really should have known better. Blair wasn’t as forgiving as Tea. Todd should have expected her anger, but he had thought she had softened towards him after allowing him to see Starr.
Actually, Todd was wallowing in misery because her words had hurt him deeply and dredged up painful memories. Blair couldn’t have known that Peter Manning’s favorite adjectives for his adopted son had been weak and sniveling. Todd’s mind had gone completely blank once she’d spat the words at him. While he’d stood there, flashbacks of his father’s verbal abuse reverberating in his mind, Todd had felt that evil part of his nature emerging. He had been about to retaliate with equally harsh words and he had so wanted to shake her senseless. Reminding himself that Blair was the mother of his world had kept him from following through. Rather than stay there and be tempted by demons, Todd had chosen to leave before he did something he regretted.
It really shouldn’t matter to him that Blair wouldn’t forgive him, but it did. He had vowed after Tea that he wouldn’t let another woman lay him low, but Blair was different. Not just because she was Starr’s mother, but because she had been his first real friend, his first real lover, and she was so much like him it scared him. Besides that, he was tired of fighting with her. Their rift left him feeling as if he couldn’t move on with his life, even when he’d thought Tea would be in it.
He should really be concentrating on his legal problems. Sam had left a message on his cell phone earlier that day, telling him that he still had more research to do on the charges against him and giving him the name of two highly recommended psychiatrists. Todd figured he wouldn’t call him back unless it was absolutely necessary. He didn’t want to hear Sam slurping about therapy anymore.
Right now, he wanted to escape the stark white kitchen. The walls seemed as if they were closing in on him and the more he sat there, the more bad memories intruded on his thoughts. Todd pulled himself off the floor and went upstairs to the bedroom to get dressed. He needed to get out of that large, quiet house before he went stir crazy.
************
Blair carefully eased Max’s arm from around her waist and quietly slipped out of bed, shivering slightly as the cold air from the circulating central air touched her nude body. She pressed a hand to her roiling stomach as she looked back at her husband, making sure he was still asleep. Then she slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind her, and rushed to the toilet. She’d barely dropped to her knees before she began to throw up, her hands clutching the seat tightly as her body convulsed. She prayed that Max wouldn’t wake up, but damn if it wasn’t hard to be quiet while gagging and vomiting.
A few minutes later, eyes wet and nose running, she slowly stood up, swaying slightly. She stumbled over to the sink to splash water on her face and rinse out her mouth. She wet a wash cloth and lathered it with her favorite perfumed soap, then begin scrubbing at her skin, trying to erase the spots where Max had touched her. As she ran the cloth over her breasts, down her stomach, and between her legs, she had a fleeting thought that she was going crazy. She knew for certain that she couldn’t continue this way much longer.
After tossing the towel into the hamper, she slipped on the bathrobe hanging on the back of the door and sat down on the edge of the large tub. The last thing she wanted to do was crawl back into bed with Max. It felt as if Skye were in the bed with them. Every time he made love to her, Blair wondered if he had murmured the same endearments to Skye. Did he compare Skye’s body to hers? Did he think of Skye while he was using her body?
The thoughts were sick, but Blair couldn’t help them. She also couldn’t stand to be around her husband. Having sex with him tonight had been especially hard and he had even asked her if anything was bothering her during the act. Blair had feigned a headache, but that hadn’t stopped the asshole from continuing. She wasn’t sure if she could take it anymore. She wasn’t sure if revenge was worth losing her sanity. Thank God Wharton had started the job today. Soon, she would be rid of Max for good.
Suddenly needing to get away, Blair returned to the bedroom, tiptoeing as she went. She went to her closet and closed the door, quickly selected an outfit and got dressed. She emerged a few minutes later and quietly left the room, then stopped by Starr’s room to check on her. Then, clutching a pair of strappy sandals in her hand, Blair crept downstairs and slipped out a rear door of the mansion. She inhaled the fresh air, an immense feeling of freedom and relief washing over her as she got into her car and drove away.
************